We all have that one work colleague that we have serious concerns about how they still have a job. And actually how they’ve managed to get through life so far. I have two who are so needy they follow me around like bad smells (and speaking of which- they don’t smell the best either), jump around on people when they get excited and I’ve caught both of them literally chasing their tails around. Ok, they’re my dogs, but they’re the only employees I have and I had to bitch about someone.
In saying that, I’ve worked with some special people in my time and I’ve cringed so hard my face fell off at the stupidity of some things they’ve done. I thought, surely I’m not alone on this, so I searched the interwebs high and low and found the dumbest things other people have also done in the workplace.
Hold on tight, you guys. I’m about to make Carol “I want my first daughter to be a girl” from accounts look like Einstein in comparison. These are some of the stupidest things people have done and thank god for the internet so the rest of the world can enjoy them, too. Here goes.
1 Apparently, a receptionist at a big corporate company got fired because, um, she forgot to wear pants. On more than one occasion. I’m not gonna lie and say I can’t relate to this situation. Who likes wearing pants, anyway? So restricting, especially when I order enough Chinese food to feed a small country and eat it all to myself. But even I’m not bold enough to attend the office, sans pants. Family gatherings, movie cinemas or whatever, sure, but just not the office.
2 A service station manager once caught an attendant poking holes in condom packets thinking it was the funniest thing to ever happen. Look, I have the maturity of a 10-year-old boy and even I think this is going too far with the whole practical joke thing.
This happened in Virginia USA. If you or any of your friends were visiting there at the time and had an accidental pregnancy, this could explain a lot.
3 One employee, who if you ask me is clearly going places in life, rang in sick one day. Nothing too unusual there. It’s actually an Australian’s right of passage to call in sick at least several times a year whilst in perfect health and spend the day at the beach or something.
But what did this genius chose to do? Attend his work Christmas party. Honestly, I’m stumped to figure out how he got caught.
4. This one nearly got me stuck for words and that’s coming from me and I could have a seven-hour conversation with a goat and still have things to say. Apparently, a teacher who taught 10-year-old student’s was having a dating crisis and couldn’t pick between the two men in her life.
So, instead of getting vino drunk with her girlfriends, or,what I would do- have them fight each other death to prove their love for me, she had her students reenact the dates. Including, but not limited to, the kissing scenes in class to help her make up her mind. I did mention her students were 10 right?
5 Lol. This ones probably one of my favs. A group of Australian miners decided to get down with their bad selves and do the Harlem Shake. Of course, because it’s 2017, they posted the videos everywhere for people to see because photos/videos or it didn’t happen. #straya. Unfortunately, their supervisors also found them getting their freak on and didn’t find it quite as entertaining as they did. They fired everybody involved even those who simply watched it, because people suck and everybody wants to stop us living our best lives.
6 In another #straya moment, our latest story begins with an English man named Paul who clearly missed his calling by not being born here. He was having himself a relaxing little holiday on one of our beaches when he witnessed a shark swimming near other tourists.
Because not all heroes wear capes (well maybe he was wearing one, I don’t know), he thought he’d casually jump in the water, grab it by its body and drag it away from the children nearby.
Nice one Paul. Except the video went viral and Paul happened to be on leave for “work-induced stress” from his job as an organiser at a Welsh youth club, and they had no idea he was in Oz. I say it’s worth losing the job for all the shark wrestling street cred.
7 Look I couldn’t go a whole article without mentioning the most common and most stupid thing people constantly get caught doing in their workplaces. I’ll give you a hint. It’s rhymes with spawnication (also relevant). Yes, sex, you guys. People bumping uglies or even pleasuring themselves in closets, in toilets, at Christmas parties, in freezers, on top of their bosses desks etc.
For some reason so many people have problems controlling their sexual desires in their workplace. Y’all need Jesus. Just saying.
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