I recently did a Buzzfeed Quiz to find out whether I’m an introvert or extrovert in the workplace based on my pizza topping choices. Obviously, I have no reason to doubt the accuracy of this when it did, in fact, conclude I am an introvert. I mean, it kinda goes against everything I’ve done in my life. Every piece of evidence and encounters I’ve ever had imply I’m definitely an extrovert, but whatevs. Pizza Toppings Amirite?

Anyhoos, after this extremely precise analysis of my personality type I thought I’d put together a list of reasons why other introverts like me are the best things to have in the workplace. Even if literally none of these apply to me at all. Hold on tight gang. You’re about to get woke. #introvertsrule

People Assume Introverts Aren’t listening and They Get The Best Office Gossip

Introverts tend to be the quiet types. Because of this people assume they’re not listening to their convos. Rookie error. Being quiet doesn’t make you deaf. Hell to the yeah, they are listening. They know Susan the secretary has a crush on Garry from accounts, even though she’s been married to Bob forever. They’re all over the goss that young gun Tom in marketing is rubbing Walter the CEO the wrong way and they are looking at ways to legally let him go. In fact, they know. They know everything. They just know.

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So if you ever want to find the weaknesses of your workplace enemies to destroy them with - the introvert’s got you, fam. Approach quietly and with truckloads of wine and wait for the magic to happen. Someone bout to be shook round here.

 

They are The Easiest Employees To Manage

Introverts are the best employees to manage. Unlike extroverts they don’t need constant laughter at their jokes, praise and ongoing attention to stroke their egos. Oh, by the way, did I mention that I can eat a whole chili at once and my dance moves are so good they’ve been outlawed in three states? And what do you think of my new hair colour? It’s pretty right? I’m pretty right?

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Anyway, I digress. Introverts are happy to fade away in the background like the delicate wallflowers they are. They don’t need to be micro-managed because they’d rather be left to their own devices anyway. They easily shut off from the distractions of the rest of the office and they couldn’t be bothered or nor do they care for drama.

They are effective AF and get shit done, without anyone even realising they’re doing it. They are the backbone of the organisation, like I’m the backbone of my household every time I change the toilet paper roll.

 They Are Respectful Of Other Opinions Or Way of Doing Things

If you ever been in a meeting where Dave is speaking over Kristy. And Kristy’s arguing pretty much the exact point of Lisa. And Lisa’s having a sook because there’s no pause in the conversation for her to talk, then you’ll totally ship an introvert that doesn’t behave in the same way. Lets face it, it’s like a day care except the adults are getting paid to act like toddlers fighting for attention.

These are the incidences where you appreciate an introvert the most. They tend to digest all the information available and look at things from a holistic approach. They respond in these situations respectfully and with a well thought-out approach, rather than trying to jump in and talk over the top of people like the others do. Damn Gina. Maturity and stuff.

 

They Don’t Party Hard Often

Unlike Suzy from customer service who just stumbled in from a three-day bender without any sleep, an introvert prioritises their rest above anything else. Whilst a lot of staff members may be exhausted, hungover or still drunk from the night before, an introvert prefers to limit the number of social situations they attend. Especially participating in one on a school night.

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For this reason, they are generally refreshed and focused on the day’s work, instead of trying to get through the day without dying from this hangover. On a completely unrelated note that has nothing to do with this conversation at all, is it five o’clock yet? Because I’m really fn tired, dehydrated and got a banging red wine headache.

They Are Loyal AF

You know what an introvert’s worst nightmare is? Those creepy clowns that were doing the rounds not long ago (well really, who isn’t scared of those?). And having to actively look for a new opportunity.

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In this day and age a job hunt isn’t reaching out to job seeker sites alone. It involves actively approaching recruiters, different organisations and businesses and hunting down their future managers or interviewers through their social media accounts, with the skills of a female finding information on a boy you suspect is going to break their best friends heart. Your perspective interviewer is possibly doing the same thing to you, which is just as terrifying.

This is all before the face-to-face interview and frankly, I’m exhausted already. And that’s coming from me and I enjoy this experience because it’s a great excuse to do talk about myself for an extended period of time, with a real life human audience as opposed to my two dogs who are terrible interviewers and don’t laugh at my hilarious and witty clap-backs (Still an introvert. PIZZA TOPPINGS! ).

An introvert is only going to go through this process when it’s really time to move on and look for a new role, and not just because they are pissed off about the lack of free Friday afternoon beers (Guilty as charged).